The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Notes on an Overheard Conversation About a Bank Account

“Hello, this is XXXXX­X of [a bank in California]. How may I help you?”

“Yes, I'm calling about the closing out of an account. I received the affidavit form and I've filled it out except for one line—I don't know how much is in the account.”

“I'm sorry, but I can neither confirm nor deny he has an account with us.”


“I can neither confirm nor deny he has an account with us.”

You sent me the affidavit!”

“Yes, but I can neither confirm nor deny his account with us.”

“I have his account number in front of me!”

“I can neither—oh … um … please hold … <mumble mumble mumble>”

“I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.”

“Sorry, I can't speak any louder than this—what is the account number?”


“Okay, the amount left in the account is $45.71”



“You're only telling me because it's a rounding error to you guys, right?”


“Okay! Anyway, thank you.”

“Anything else I can do for you?”

“Yes, your direct phone number in your email? When I called it, I got a health clinic in Encino.”



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[“I am NOT a number, I am … a Q-CODE!”]

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