Thursday, January 12, 2006
The Great Egress Incident
Since The Younger and Spring were transported to The Hospital from The Emergency Room via ambulance, Spring's car was still at The Emergency Room. I worked out a plan whereby Smirk would pick me up at The Hospital, drive me to The Emergency Room, whereby I would drive Spring's car back to the Hospital, then I would drive back home to get some sleep so I could go to work tomorrow.
Around 11:30 pm or so, Smirk calls me on my cell phone to say he's outside the main entrance to The Hospital. The main entrance to The Hospital is this large revolving door (it has motion detectors, and will start moving automatically). I nearly smack into the thing trying to walk outside.
It's not moving.
I try pushing it on the sign that says “Don't Push” but it won't budge. In fine print, the sign mentions something about the handicapped doors to either side of the revolving door. So I pick the one to the right, and try to go out.
It doesn't budge.
Nearby is a large flat disk with a stylized wheelchair and the words “Open Door” on it (or something to that effect—I don't recall exactly). It's made to be pressed, and I press it. I hear this light buzzing noise, only the door isn't opening. I try pushing the handicapped door, but it still doesn't budge.
Neither does the one to the left of the revolving door.
Through the windows, I can see Smirk's vehicle.
I try all three egresses again, pushing and shoving and otherwise trying to get to the other side of the doors.
Then I call Smirk on the cell phone, to inform him that I'm having some difficulty in leaving The Hospital. Through his laughter I'm told that he's seen my difficulty and suggests meeting him outside this Hospital's Emergency Room.