Monday, September 26, 2005
“You can't handle the request!”
I wish there was some magic word or phrase that would inform the tech support Bob that they are unable to handle my request and that I should be escalated up the tech support food chain. I realize they have a script to follow, but when the caller (me) says things like “Can you repeat the problem back to me? … No, that is not the issue,” that should be a big 'ol clue-by-four that things need to be escalated.
Yes, I'm still trying to resolve the
email issue and today's round involved four (4) people across two
battling business units (and I think my call ended up in Jamaca—the phone
quality was horrible) at The Monopolistic Phone Company. It got to the
point where, at one point, I actually screamed at Bob “It has nothing to do
with XXXXXXX email configurations! I'll tell you
why! Because I log into their server directly. I then check the MX record for mpc.example.net.
Oh, it's mx00.mail.example.net and
mx01.mail.example.net. I then pick one, say,
mx00.mail.example.net and do a telnet
mx00.mail.example.net 25, which is the SMTP port. No connection is made. There's no
configuration to worry about at this point because the email servers for
mpc.example.net are refusing connection.”
It was very quiet on the other end of the phone line after that.
I hated doing it, but the sheer level of … bullheadedness on the other end was just phenomenal. Smirk was feeling guilty about his attacks of schadenfreude, but he's dealt with The Monopolistic Phone Company one too many times.
The final Bob I talked to informed me that I should send email to
abuse@mpc.example.net but I kept insisting on some
other phone number I could call. Bob4 balked at first, but I
guess the screaming match I had with Bob3 clued him in and I got
both a voice and FAX number.
Smirk however, had dug up other numbers, and those proved more useful. Bob5 (of The Monopolistic Phone Company Tech Support Business Email Department) at least asked the right questions.
Curiously enough, when I called back to The Monopolistic Phone Company Dialup Support (the first number I was given) to close out ticket number “tango mike papa charlie zero zero zero six six six zero zero zero foxtrot uniform” Bob6 got horribly confused by my request. Apparently no trouble tickets are ever closed at The Monopolistic Phone Company Dialup Support.
Scary.
![[The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades]](https://www.conman.org/people/spc/about/2023/1023.t.jpg "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades")