By the Twelfth Day of Christmas,
my true love has gifted me:
- 12 drummers drumming,
- 22 pipers piping,
- 30 lords a-leaping,
- 36 ladies dancing,
- 40 maids a-milking,
- 42 swans a-swimming,
- 42 geese a-laying,
- 40 gold rings (and not one to control them all),
- 36 calling birds,
- 30 French hens,
- 22 turtle doves,
- and 12 partridges in a dozen pear trees!
I now have here 140 people,
34 of which are playing loudly,
66 are prancing about loudly,
and 40 complaining that the noise is making it difficult to milk their cows.
Speaking of which,
there are 40 cows milling about constantly mooing,
and making such a mess on the floor.
There are 184 birds flying about,
honking,
calling,
cooing
and otherwise making more of a mess on everything but the floor,
to the point where it's wise not to eat the pears without a thorough cleaning
(and possibly peeling).
The 40 golden rings aren't quite enough to make up financially for all the damage caused so far.
I think next year I'll just ask for a pair of socks.
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![[Self-portrait with my new glasses]](https://www.conman.org/people/spc/about/2025/0925.t.jpg "Glasses. Titanium, not steel.")