I came across this letter to the editor of the Transylvania Times that is just too good not to share.
A Vote For Anarchy
My name is Velma Owen. I'm an 84-year-old grandmother of seven. I've lived in Transylvania County my whole life, and I'm thinking about running a write-in campaign for president of the United States. I read letters in this paper all the time of people complaining about this politician or that politician, but I got a plan we could all get behind.
As president, I will disband the entire government. We all hate it anyway. Let's just get rid of it. My grandson thinks we need the government for the post office and roads, but he's voting for the socialist. Besides, the post office is useless since UPS came around, and I haven't cared much about the roads since I quit driving.
And don't get me started on taxes. Taxes are a load of bull. I could give the government my first born child and they'd still want the second and third. (They can take the fourth.) All that money out of my pocket, and for what? So some politician can write a law that gets me in trouble for driving my mower on Highway 64.
Anyway, if you're as sick of it as I am, then write-in Velma Owen in the general election in November. We'll close this government like it's the K-Mart.
Remember: A vote for Velma is a vote for anarchy.
There's not much else to add to this but, Vote Velma!