The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Isn't this how the Toxic Avenger got his start?

My manager is apparently under pressure by the HR Department of the Corporation Overlord Corporation to get the rest of his team to fill out the Employee Goals on the Employee Goal Website De L'année, and thus, I am now under pressure by my manager to appease the HR Department of the Corporation Overlord Corporation by filling out my “goals” on the Employee Goals on the Employee Goal Website De L'année. The first hurdle was to figure out which of a dozen different account IDs I needed to log into this site, and which of two dozen passwords to use.

Once that was sorted out, I started the process of filling out my “goals.” Fortunately, there was a pull down menu of predefined “goals” I could select from to save me the cognative overload of trying to come up with plausible sounding “goals” instead of the “goals” I really wanted to add, like “become a vegetarian skateboarding cab driver who saves the world” or “overthrow the illegitimate government of Patagonia” or something else equally silly.

So I'm running down this list of pre-canned results, like “keep accurate records” and “deliver on revenue” when I see, and I kid you not, “ensures 100% of hazardous waste is re-used/re-processed.”

…

SCORE!

How can I not use that?

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