Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Notes on an overheard conversation in The Ft. Lauderdale Office of The Corporation
“Do you know how I get to the timesheet application?”
“Timesheet application? You want to apply for some vacation time?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, first you need to log into the VPN.”
“But we're in the office, why do I need to log into the VPN?”
“No, you're thinkging of The Corpration VPN. You need to log into the Corporation Overlord Corporation VPN.”
“Oh. Where do I go to log into that?”
“Here, let me email you the location.”
“Thank you. Hmm … Ah, I use that account name … but I don't seem to know the password for that account. Is it the same as any other password you use?”
“No, it's a different password.”
“Sigh. … Okay it's not that password … and it's not that password. I'm afraid of trying it a third time lest I get locked out.”
“So once you reset your password and can log on, do not select the ‘Timesheet Application’ but instead select the ‘Monopolistic Database Corporation Application Suite’ instead.”
“Do tell.”
“Yeah, I can't make this stuff up even if I wanted to.”
“So skip ‘Timesheet Application’ and instead use the ‘Monopolistic Database Corporation Application Suite.’”
“Yes.”
“I won't ask.”
“Good, beacuse I don't know the answer.”
Notes on another overheard phonecall in The Ft. Lauderdale Office of The Corporation
“Okay, I copied down the new password.”
…
“Wait? I'm stuck with that password?”
…
“Oh, I can't change the password for ten days. Then I can change it to something less obvious.”
…
“Okay, fine. Now let me try logging into the site.”
…
“No, I don't have Internet Explorer.”
…
“No, I'm not running Windows 7, or any version of Windows for that matter.”
…
“A Macintosh.”
…
“No, really.”
…
“No, I'm not running Google Chrome.”
…
“Firefox.”
…
“Is there a joke I didn't get?”
