Wednesday, Debtember 24, 2014
Notes on an overheard conversation while sitting in a booth at a restaurant eating lunch on Christmas Eve
“While I was cleaning the house, I was harmonizing with Lilly Nelson—”
“Who? Lilly Nelson?”
“Who do you think I mentioned?”
“Lilly Nelson.”
“Do you think I said Lilly Nelson?”
“That's what I heard—Lilly Nelson.”
“So who is Lilly Nelson?”
“That's what I asked you—who is Lilly Nelson?”
“Who do you think it is?”
“I don't know. It could very well be a singer I've never heard of. You never heard of Front 242, or Siouxsie and the Banshees.”
“Do you think I might have said Willy Nelson?”
“For all I know, she could have been the daughter of Ricky Nelson. Like Kelly Osbourne.”
“Who?”
“Kelly Osbourne. Daughter of Ozzy Osbourne, eater of bats.”
“But I didn't say Lilly Nelson.”
“But she could be a singer!”
“…”
“Let's see … I'm looking up Lilly Nelson.”
“Is this tunnel vision a programmer thing? You can't think outside the box realize I said ‘Willy Nelson?’”
“Tunnel vision? I'm the one willing to conceed she's a singer.”
“Must control … fist of death …”
“Ah! She's an actress!”
“But not a singer.”
“That's not out of the question. Eddie Murphy. William Shatner. Bruce Willis. They all had ‘singing’ careers.”
“Bruce Willis?”
“Bruce Willis. The Return of Bruno, 1987.”
“Why do you know that?”
“The same reason why I know Leonard Nimoy had a hit in the 60s.”
“But what does that have to do with Lilly Nelson? She's an actress, not a singer.”
“Because being an actress doesn't preclude a singing career.”
“If she has a singing career, I'm checking out of this universe.”
