The Boston Diaries - Captain Napalm

Monday, July 04, 2011

The Inadvertent Michael Jackson Impersonation

Our neighbor tends to go all out on the Fourth of July, so there's no real need to go anywhere for a fireworks show. So when he and his friends started firing off their works, Bunny and I went outside to enjoy the show.

[He's got both kinds of fireworks! Vertical AND horizontal!]

Then this one is lit off:

[Compared to the prior one, that isn't a firework]

My reaction was pretty much: Hmm … wow that's loud, and large, and low, and oh XXXX XXXX that's going to XXXXXXX land on me get it off get it off get it off. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

Wow.

I've been in an explosion.

Now my hair caught on fire.

Okay, okay, technically it wasn't on fire, but it was singed, and man, singed hair smells horrible.

Blech.

[It actually felt like plastic—very weird]

Fortunately, I suffered no burns, but I was lucky. It could have much much worse, which is a nice time for this little PSA:

[Amateurs: There's a reason professionals exist.]

I think next year, I'll watch the fireworks on TV from the comfort of an underground bunker.

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