Monday, March 09, 2009
“Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam” (aka “The Turkish Star Wars”)
I'm 10 minutes into watching “Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam” and I'm speechless. In said ten minutes, we get about four minutes of, dare I say it, stock “Star Wars” footage (which amazingly enough, looks like stock footage taken in the 50s by the United States government) and minutes of exposition whereby we learn that the Earth has been blown up a few times, but still survives in pieces and that there's an enemy force out there trying to destroy the rest of humanity.
Then, using … um … stock “Star Wars” footage intercut and projected behind … um … native footage, we get this horribly confusing space battle where the good guys are flying around in Tie fighters and Star Destroyers (with the Death Star playing the part of “The Earth”) fighting the bad guys in Rebel transports, X-wing fighters and the Millenium Falcon.
I think.
It's all horribly confusing. And it seems that the two fighter pilots engaging the enemy are finally defeated, yet the bad guys lost because of a “brain shield” around the Earth.
I think.
I don't speak Turkish and the subtitles are a very amusing bit of.
Where translation some of is off another screen.
placed.
“Plan 9 From Outer Space,” for all it's continuity errors and cheap sets, is more coherent than “Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam.” Wierder still, my impression of the opening ten minutes don't quite match this impression of the film, but that's okay—it's Turkish translated into Engrish of a film that is seriously infringing upon copyright law.
Huh … had I watched the film for another 30 seconds, I would have seen our two intrepid fighter pilots weren't killed, but instead crashed on a desert planet. And frankly, I think the film would have been better served starting here than with the horribly confusing ten minutes of rear projected stock “Star Wars” footage.
Two more minutes, and at least they had the foresight (or the budget) to use a real desert wasteland than the rock quarries of Dr. Who. And man, the dialog alone is great (I know the two characters are Murat and Ali, although I'm not sure which one is actually which, so I'm arbitarily picking here):
- Murat
- We must know where we are. Otherwise here we may die in a famine and thirst.
- Ali
- I am tired like a dead. Let's rest a while.
- Murat
- This is what they want. Once we drop down we are done.
- Ali
- Would you condemn me if I tell you that I'm affraid [sic]?
- Murat
- Be afraid but don't show it.
- Ali
- Why?
- Murat
- Maybe we crashed on a planet inhabited only by women. They could be testing us to check which of us
- Murat
- is more courageous.
- Ali
- Then I take the lead.
- Murat
- But don't forget to inflate your chest.
(That's not all you better inflate. Thank you! I'll be here all week! Try the veal! Don't forget to tip your waiter)
Man … bad cinema … no, scratch that … bad foreign cinema!
Pass the popcorn.
One should not see how the sausage is made.
While I'm on the subject of entertainment that's so bad it's actually entertaining, I forgot to mention a particular episode of UFO Hunters about a small patch of Nevada known as Area 51.
![[You won't see this on the show]](/2009/03/09/IMG_6731.jpg "You won't see this on the show")
(Photograph by Glenn Campbell)
Bunny recorded the show (watch it while you can before it's taken down) and it was amusing, but for me, it wasn't anything I didn't know before. Really, I only watched it because Glenn Campbell was on the show; far more fascinating than the show was the show behind the show and just how ridiculous a hike up a mountain with a camera crew really is. On screen you see two people, the host, and Glenn. And since you're seeing it, there's obviously the camera man. But in reality there were a total of 15 people on that hike, most lugging tons of camera, sound and lighting equipment.
Quite amusing really.
I'm reminded of all this because Glenn is fact checking the UFO Hunters on their presentation of Area 51. And as he reminds us:
The recent Area 51 episode of UFO Hunters was fine entertainment, but let's make it clear: This was not journalism. It was never intended as journalism, so don't get your knickers in a bunch about factual accuracy. It's only a TV show, designed to appeal to a certain market and sell advertising.
