Friday, February 09, 2007
My bladder was trying to tell me something in my dreams
I was in a hospital visiting someone I know, but who it was wasn't clear (or I've forgotten) and I had to go to the bathroom. I enter and there in front of me, is this very bizarre toilet that appears to analyze the waste material emptied into it. I'm trying hard to figure out how the darned thing works and can't. I step outside to ask for help when someone says to just use the regular bathroom.
It's then that I wake up, having to really go to the bathroom.
Thankfully, I have a regular bathroom.
Anthony Bourdain on the Food Network
SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What's the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban—or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themseles with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror.
Anthony Bourdain, formerly a Food Network chef, has some biting commentary on the remaining talent. And some of the comments are just as biting:
What sucks for anyone who really appreciates food is that Food Network is a business. An advertising and affiliate sales-driven business. They have to hire talent who will actually use the products that advertisers are buying time to promote. And, they have to hire talent that appeals to the lowest common denominator when it comes to cable subscribers. TVFN has become a hybrid of WWF, NASCAR, The View and Friends—appealing only to people who say “hey buddy” and do finger-guns with a wink when they meet people, and find the jokes on popsicle sticks hilarious.