Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Baby names gone bad
As you will see, some parents-to-be have gone so far into the realm of baby-obsession they have lost track of the real, adult world. Their view is so skewed their only concerns are a) making their child “unique” and b) trying to keep the kid from being teased, often with terrible results.
When I wrote the entry about parenting magazine I searched some baby name sites to see what names are popular for this bit:
And it's also the poor parent that can't afford to send Tylor or Madison to a cheerleading or computer camp for the summer. Or the ever popular Adventure Camp where kids compete in inane competitions and every night the least popular kid is voted out to spend the rest of the summer in time out.
I wanted something that screamed “Boomer spawn” and I think I pegged it with those two names (Mark even commented how on-spot those two names were). But never would I expect to see the horrors of Cielle, Keegan, Payson, Baylie, Fleur Jade (“Fleur Jade?”), Acenzion, Kesleigh, Ritalin and Atticus considered as names for kids. I'm very surprised that Njorl, Hrothgar and Beowulf aren't in contention (come on! Hrothgar would be a killer name—I've even suggested as much to friends of mine. Alas, none of them have taken me up on the offer).
Alas, tis too true. As Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing shows, some parents have no shame. Or common sense (“Fleur Jade?” Fleur Jade? What is that? Some sort of French Jedi?). What even happened to names like James, Peter, Sean, Seamus, Lincoln, Cadilac, Buick, Charteuse or T-bone?