The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Sunday, Debtember 15, 2002

Is turn about fair play?

Really … I wonder just how illegal it is to scam a scam artist? I mean, if I report the income to the IRS it shouldn't be a problem, right?

From: Sean “Captain Napalm” Conner <sean@conman.org>
To: usman g <usman7431@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: help me
Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 06:42:54 -0500

ATT, MNG.DIR & GEN MGR

It is with mixed sentiments that I write to lodge this pressing situation to you. Actually it took me time before writing you because of the importance of the huge confidence herein. However, the recommendations made about you by a very good friend of my father who is working with the Export Promotion Council of mali is sufficient for any trust. I hereby wish to introduce my humble self.

I am USMAN GWARZO, eldest son of Alhaji Ismaila Gwarzo, the former security advisor to the Nigerian late Head of state, General SANI ABACHA, who passed on in June 1998.

currently the incumbent government of General Olusegun Obasanjo is freezing all foreign accounts suspected to be misappropriated government fund. And this has culminated in freezing my fathers foreign accounts.

Unfortunately, the trial may be extended to the family as advised by my fathers legal counsel if the utterances by the Director of Publicity to the Federal Government CHIEF DOYIN OKUPE is anything to go by. Invariably, this affects me as my father lodged the sum of US48.2M in my account in October 29, 2000. as a result of this development. I have taken measures to protect and secure the fund. So on the 5th of November, 2001, I converted the whole amount in $100 bill and immediately lodged it into a Security house to avoid detection with the help of some high rated officials for ultimate movement into foreign beneficiary account. All machinery has been put into place for this money.

Now I recourse to you for assistance to shield this fund in your account until this trying period is over. I have the approval of my incarcerated father to offer you a trust instrument of 25% of the total amount for your assistance after the deal is over.

I request that you apply degree of confidentiality to this humble plea for help with all seriousness, as it demands.

Please contact me at once by reply fax through my fax 234 8037236567 and state your private telephone and fax number.

NOTE: The deal is 100% risk free.

TREAT AS URGENT

Best regards,
USMAN GWARZO
My Email usman701ng@yahoo.com

Someone working for the Export Promotion Council of Mali recommended me? Yea, I know the guy.

THAT FAT BASTARD!

No wonder he recommended me for this—he figures that I'll just forgive him the $500,000 (United States Dollars) he owes me if he does me this favor.

WELL SCREW THAT!

Tell that fat bastard I want my damn money and I won't deal with him, nor his friends or family until I am repaid IN FULL!

Got that?

US$500,000 in full. Until then, I will not deal with anyone he recommends.

No offence to you.

Best regards,
Sean

Update later today ...

Turns out Mr. Usman Gwarzo is over his email quota and can't receive any more emails.

Bummer.


Nigeria Central

Man, it's Nigeria Central here. No sooner do I get yet another Nigerian Special Offer than I receive the following about Mr. Woo Chong:

From: XXXXXX <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
To: <sean@conman.org>
Subject: FW: PLEASE CONTACT ATTORNEY
Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 15:26:30 +0800

Dear “Captain” Conner,

Perhaps you would enjoy some further comedy from Mr. Woo. I received the same “scam” letter … But, having no previous experience with such types of “unusual offer,” and being as I actually bank with China Trust, I replied with some remarks roughly equivalent to what is contained in your posted commentary (minus the stuff about the Nigerian offers and the request for 50%). I was just curious as to how this letter found my email address, etc. Also I was hoping that whoever “Mr. Woo” is … He is someone completely unrelated to China Trust Bank that is just finding ways to amuse himself.

In his reply, his command of English appears to be slipping; he claims to have tried a phone number I didn't give him and has misspelled my name. If he indeed is a member of China Trust and has access to my files, indeed my phone number would not have worked as I have moved; however, I find this unlikely. See below:

From: “woo chong” <woo_chong123@amrer.net>
Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 11:28:26 +0800
To: <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>

Subject: PLEASE CONTACT ATTORNEY

PLEASE CALL MY ATTORNEY! DEAR XXXXXX, I MUST THANK YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE TO MY MAILS, PATAINING THIS TRANSACTION,AND FOR SENDING YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.I TRIED THE NUMBER, I HAD NO RESPONSE. I HAVE TO ALSO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT BECAUSE OF THE LOAD OF WORK HERE IN MY BANK, I HAVE GIVEN MY ATTORNEY WHO IS IN LONDON, THE RIGHT TO CARRY ON WITH THE TRANSACTION. HE HAS ALL THE DOCUMENTS AND INFOMATION REGARDS THIS TRANSACTION. HERE IS HIS DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER:(447753262320), HIS NAME IS MR WATTS. PLEASE TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE, ENDEAVOUR TO CALL HIM AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL. I WANT TO ALSO REMIND YOU ONCE AGAIN THAT ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS UTMOST TRUST AND MAXIMUM SECRECY IN THE COURSE OF CARRING OUT THIS TRANSACTION.I WANT TO BELEIVE THAT YOU ARE A GOD SENT, AND WE WILL MEET WHEN THIS TRANSACTION IS OVER TO DISCUSS INVESTMENT MODALITIES. ALWAYS GET BACK TO ME AFTER EACH CONVERSATION WITH MR WATTS,MY ATTORNEY. LOOKING FORWARD TO A SUCCESSFUL AND PROSPEROUS BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. REGARDS, CHONG. – Get your free email from www.amrer.net Powered by Outblaze

(and it's not helping matters that I'm the second result for a Google search on “Woo Chong”)

If this keeps up, I'm going to have to write more about blogging …

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