The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Thursday, Debtember 05, 2002

Letter to Mr. Woo Chong, Republic of China

Sean “Captain Napalm” Conner <>
Mr. Woo Chong <>
Thu, 5 Dec 2002 20:47:12 -0500


I am Mr. Woo Chong, Bank Manager of Chinatrust Commercial Bank, Nan Kan branch, Taiwan, R.O.C. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

Wonderful! It was most unfortunate that I had to turn down the Nigerians and their wonderful offers; this couldn't have come at a more opportune time.

On June 6, 1998, a British Oil consultant/contractor with the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation, Mr. Smith Lawrence made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$30,000,000.00 (Thirty Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Chinese Solid Minerals Corporation that Mr. Smith Lawrence died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.

Oh how fortunate for us that no will could be found, nor could any next of kin. Oh why am I not terribly surprised at that?

I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Smith Lawrence did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$30,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to Laws of Republic of China, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Chinese Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.

Why not let it ride out the five years? Even at a paltry 2% you'll end up with an extra US$1,549,968.10, unless you don't exactly trust your own bank in these matters.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Smith Lawrence so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials.

So that instead, the fruits of Mr. Smith's labor will then go into the hands of some corrupt corporate officials. Wonderful!

This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer. A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 90% for me and 10% for you.

Ten percent? That's it? The Nigerians all offered at least 20%, along with the Russians. Heck, a gem merchant offered me 70% to participate! You are going to have to do better than a measly 10% to scam persuade scam entice scam intrigue me. Just for your insolence, 50/50 split, or talk to the hand.

There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address above. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. Please send me your confidential telephone and fax numbers for easy communication.

You know, at least the Nigerians give excuses why they can't just do this themselves, such as government corruption, legal blockages, etc., and I'm wondering the same thing here. If you, who are in the banking industry, don't know anyone else outside of the Republic of China that could help you, then I'm not sure if I want to trust you … not that I trust you to begin with.

Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply via my email address.

Thanks and regards.

Mr. Woo

You wouldn't happen to know a Mr. Zhou Shun Lam, would you? He too, found the account and is proposing a similar scam offer to someone else.

But overall, I was impressed with your command of the English language and spelling, which is more than I can say for some of the other scams offers I've received. But if it's the same to you, I would like to decline the offer.

Your's truly,

Sean “Captain Napalm” Conner

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