The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Thursday, October 01, 2020

Skidoosh

The following is one of the most amusing spam emails I've received in a long time:

From
"Alisha Roberts" <selfdefense@XXXXX­XXXXX­XXXXX­X>
To
<sean@conman.org>
Subject
"I Was In Hell" Serial Robber Terrified After Entering Detroit Family's House
Date
Thu, 1 Oct 2020 04:10:15 -0500

What a serial robber thought was just another break in, turned out to be the most frightening thing he had ever experienced.

Police found him crippled on the living room floor, seven feet away from his gun, screaming in excruciating pain "He's not human!".

The scene was incredibly awkward, as the person he was pointing at was a little boy in Teddy Bear pajamas, no older than 10 years, surrounded by his worried parents and grandparents.

When an officer interrogated the family they said that Jimmy -the little boy- had learned a self-defense move [2]after watching this video with his grandfather.

The two-finger trick, called the "Death Touch", was invented by a Chinese Kung Fu Master and it allows anyone, no matter their physical strength or condition, to bring down an attacker just by poking him in a vulnerable spot.

"We saw the video a couple of times and practiced a little bit. I'm shocked Jimmy almost killed an 180 pound man just by touching him…and he did it in the dark!"

It reminds me of the Count Dante ads one would find in comic books back in the 70s, promising to teach 點脈. I guess with the death of the comic book industry they have to advertise elsewhere …

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