“Hello, this is XXXXXX of [a bank in California].
How may I help you?”
I'm calling about the closing out of an account.
I received the affidavit form and I've filled it out except for one line—I don't know how much is in the account.”
but I can neither confirm nor deny he has an account with us.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny he has an account with us.”
“You sent me the affidavit!”
“Yes, but I can neither confirm nor deny his account with us.”
“I have his account number in front of me!”
“I can neither—oh … um … please hold … <mumble mumble mumble>”
“I'm sorry, I didn't hear that.”
“Sorry, I can't speak any louder than this—what is the account number?”
the amount left in the account is $45.71”
“You're only telling me because it's a rounding error to you guys, right?”
“Okay! Anyway, thank you.”
“Anything else I can do for you?”
your direct phone number in your email?
When I called it,
I got a health clinic in Encino.”
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