“Ever wonder why the American public got behind the idea of mandatory minimums and stiff sentences? The Seventies. The Seventies are why!”
Clearly, the only logical thing to happen at this point in the story is for Tupac Shakur’s future stepfather to study acupuncture.
Look, I told you today’s installment gets crazy.
It turns out that Marxist education is not actually helpful in curing drug addiction, so clinic staffer Mutulu Shakur learns acupuncture. He learns from a doctor working at Lincoln Detox, but his education is interrupted when the doctor dies of a heroin overdose. IN THE CLINIC.
But he finds a new teacher and he and others eventually get doctor of acupuncture degrees from the Acupuncture Association of Quebec. Naturally, with a cushy city gig and a growing acupuncture practice, Shakur comes to the same decision you would in such a situation: “I should use this place and its connections to start robbing banks so I can raise money to start a revolution.”
“Also,” he doubtless added, “to pay for a cocaine habit that is already considerable *fnorrrrrrrrkkkkkk*”
Reminder: this is all happening at a drug treatment clinic that is fully funded by the tax dollars of the City of New York!
But Shakur has never robbed a bank. He needs an experienced bank robber and oh look here comes Sekou Odinga, formerly of the BLA! Naturally, Shakur and Odinga need some logistical support, and what better place to find this than a bunch of white communist feminists —
Look, I told you this story gets crazy.
When I read this, I thought to myself, how did we ever surive the 60s and 70s? The whole sordid story comes across like a poor Monty Python sketch stretched way too long. Don't believe me?
In 1972, a group called Venceremos, from the Bay Area, literally broke out a black convict named Ronald Beaty during a prison transport so he could train them in guerrilla tactics and lead a revolution.
That was their actual plan. That was their entire actual plan.
Exactly that one bit from South Park, but a bunch of '70s white Bay Area radicals going, 'Token, you're black; you know guerrilla tactics.' (Spoiler: when Beaty got arrested again, he promptly rolled over on the white radicals.)
It goes on and on like that. I found it hilarious, even though it's about a serious topic of political activism gone terrorist. And believe me, the two bits I quoted aren't even all that outrageous. Wait until you read about the Episcopal Church funding a terrorist group out of Puerto Rico.
I wish I was making this up.
It's a long article and it's well worth reading as it points out what might be headed our way. History doesn't repeat, but it does tend to rhyme …