The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Observations on an incident in the Ft. Lauderdale Office of The Corporation

Sean
[Sean is typing away at the computer when suddenly …] Oops. I didn't mean to add all those files to the source repository. How to I reverse svn add?
SVN
[Doesn't say a word.]
Sean
Okay svn, be that way. Let's check the manual. [Sean goes the check the manual. Many minutes go by.] Okay, let's see what the Great and Powerful Oz Google has to say about this. [Sean checks Google] Hmm … okay, let's try this. [Sean types a command.]
SVN
Okay.
Sean
And let's see the results …
SVN
I'm sorry Sean, I can't let you do that on a damaged repository sandbox.
Sean
What?
SVN
I'm sorry Sean, I can't set you do that on a damaged repository sandbox.
Sean
Okay Google, what else do you have for me?
Google
Much more of the same command that didn't work in the first place. But here, try this random command.
SVN
I'm sorry Sean, but you are horribly screwed right now.
Sean
Okay svn, take this!
SVN
Okay Sean, but I still think you are totally screwed right now.
Sean
Um, guys … [Sean turns to his fellow cow-orkers] Could you update your main repository? [T starts typing furiously; J hears this and decides to let T be the guinea pig.]
T's SVN
I'm sorry T, you are completely screwed right now.
T
I'm completely screwed right now.
Sean
[Visibly trying not to throw the computer across the office.] Okay, svn, take this!
SVN
I'm sor—
Sean
And this!
SVN
I'm so—
Sean
And this you XXXXXXX XXXXX XX XXXX!
SVN
I'm sorry Sean, you are even more screwed now than you were before.
Sean
[Blood vessels are about to pop out of his skull. A stream of ornate sacraficial daggers are pouring out of his eyes towards the computer as he rips the power cord out from the computer.
Computer
I'm a MacBook Pro. I'm happily running on battery power right now.
Sean
Nnnnrrrrrrggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrg! [Sean's head is about to explode.]
MacBook Pro
If you are thinking of ripping the battery out of me, I need to remind you that I am a sealed unit and there is no possible way you can gain access to the batteries to rip them out.
Sean
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! [Sean is visibly shaking with anger, face red with rage.]
The Other Laptop on his Desk
Besides, it's not a good idea to rip the battery out of a laptop. I'm just saying …
Sean
[Jabs the power button the MacBook Pro.]
MacBook Pro
Do you wish to shut down now? Cancel, okay, or log off? [A loud thud is heard in the office as Sean plants his head through the desk.]

Why bother reading pages when you can just spam them and hope for the best

From
"Ashley Knowles" <leah@sponsorconnection.org>
To
"sean" <sean@conman.org>
Subject
Thank You for Supporting Veterans on boston.conman.org
Date
Wed, 2 Mar 2016 12:24:48 -0800

Hello,

I came across this page of your site http://boston.conman.org/2004/11 and noticed that you are linking to http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday and other resources for servicemen and women. I wanted to thank you for supporting veterans and active military. This is a mission I have been deeply involved in as well. If I may have just a moment of your time, I wanted to talk to you about a serious health struggle among veterans - and also suggest an addition to your page.

[ … ]

Thank you,

Ashley Knowles

Outreach Coordinator

outreach@advocatesforhealth.org

It's only because today is such a great day that this spam email caught my eye. I know this is a rhetorical question to Ashley but … did you even bother to read the post in question? Did you even bother to read the page you linked to to see if it's relevant to your organization?

No? Is that because you just did a search for “Vererans Day” and spammed every site that linked to that page? Yes? Do you realize you have two completely different email addresses? No? Is that because you don't care?

Gaaaah!

Update just two hours later …

From
"Ashley Knowles" <outreach@advocatesforhealth.org>
To
"sean" <sean@conman.org>
Subject
Correction - Thank You for Supporting Veterans on boston.conman.org
Date
Wed, 2 Mar 2016 14:15:23 -0800

Hello,

*I'm resending this because my recent e-mail was mistakenly sent through a colleagues account. Apologies if you have received two.

I came across this page of your site http://boston.conman.org/2004/11 and noticed that you are linking …

[ … ]

Thank you,

Ashley Knowles

Outreach Coordinator

outreach@advocatesforhealth.org

Really?

Sigh.

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Obligatory Miscellaneous

You have my permission to link freely to any entry here. Go ahead, I won't bite. I promise.

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