The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Friday, April 20, 2007

“Make Millions on the Intarweb!” or “There is no such thing as a free lunch.”

Sean, here's a complimentary
Conference invitation for you and a guest!

Sean, discover how ordinary people and small business owners are creating incomes using the Internet. Also, learn how you can make money using

[Logo for eBay] [Logo for Yahoo!] [Logo for Google] [Logo for msn]

and other online resources!

I first saw this piece of snailmail on my desk on Tuesday. My curiosity was piqued, and hey, it was free. And as long as I called by Monday, April 16th, I could reserve—

Oops. Missed the deadline by one day.

Oh well.

But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Who knows? I could call and still reserve my spot for the Friday noon session in Boca Raton.

Raise your hand if you think they refused my reservation because I missed the deadline? If your hand is up, I have this bridge I want to sell …

Since I could invite a guest with me, and knowing that Bunny had nothing else planned for Friday, she became my guest for this valuable Internet Income Training Seminar provided by a Leading Internet Solutions Provider for Small Businesses and Entrepreneurs—Since 1995! Including a Free Gift! And a dining package for two. A $120 value!

Free lunch? A Free Gift?

How could I not take them up on this offer. One of the most important things I learned in college was never turn down free food (yes, there is no such thing as a Free Lunch™—in this case, we had to suffer listen to a sales pitch for ninety minutes).

So half an hour prior to the seminar, Bunny and I headed over to the Embassy Suites Hotel in Boca Raton.

[The Conference Site]

Going in, I promised myself that I would not spend a dime on anything. And I managed (along with Bunny) to refrain from spending anything while there. The seminar itself was pretty much what I expected it to be—ninety minutes of shilling for their other, all day seminar where you will discover how ordinary people and small business owners are creating incomes using the Internet, all for the low, low price of $20 (which can include a guest). This seminar? A rah-rah meeting with lots of testimonials, but as it says in the small print:

All testimonials are not earnings claims and are not typical. Your results will vary.

And in case you can't read the small print:

All testimonials are not earnings claims and are not typical. Your results will vary (emphasis added).

But the woman sitting next to me was certainly buying into this (at one point, Bunny passed me a note asking if I thought she was a ringer; I wrote back saying no way as she was making way too many notes to be a ringer for this seminar), as the lecturer kept telling us, over and over, how much we would learn if we sign up for the workshop, a nine hour marathon pitch about Internet Marketing.

Now, I signed up for this “seminar” for blog material but there's a limit to what I'll endure. And I doubt there will be much that I'll learn from such a workshop. In fact, there's a curious bit on the back of the “Customer Activation Form” required to attend the workshop:

… I verify that I am not an Internet Service Provider, do not provide website hosting, and that I will not solicit other workshop attendees for any product or service. …

How odd. I wonder what's up with that? So even if I wanted to attend the workshop, I can't (well, I could but I would be misrepresenting myself to StoresOnline and I can't do that).

At least the lunch was decent.

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