Imagine going to the grocery store only once every 6 months. Imagine paying less than a dollar per meal. Imagine never washing dishes, chopping vegetables or setting the table ever again. It sounds pretty good, doesn't it?
But can a human subsist on a constant diet of pelletized, nutritionally complete food like puppies and monkeys do? For the good of human kind, I'm about to find out. On June 3, 2006, I began my week of eating nothing but monkey chow: “a complete and balanced diet for the nutrition of primates, including the great apes.”
Maybe I'll lose weight. Maybe I'll gain superhuman monkey strength. Maybe I'll go crazy. Maybe it's too late. Check back here every day to follow along with the Monkey Chow Diaries. Comments, criticisms, questions and advice can be left on the blog.
I'm tired of cooking. I hate scrubbing pots and pans. I've wasted too much time in the checkout line. It's time to eat chow.
This also reminds me of my weekly Costco trip this past Monday. While there, I came across this five gallon bucket of “Emergency Food Supply”—275 portions of kosher vegetarian meals for about $110.00 (which works out to 40¢ per meal). Ten different meals and enough food to last one person three months (if you can stand eating the same 10 meals over and over and over again), with a supposed shelf life of 20 years.
I was almost tempted to get it. Almost.