Jerry: (reading from card) So, Todd, you're here to tell your
girlfriend something. What is it?
Todd: Well, Jerry, my girlfriend Ursula and I have been going out
for three years now. We did everything together. We were really
inseparable. But then she discovered post-Marxist political and
literary theory, and it's been nothing but fighting ever since.
Jerry: Why is that?
Todd: You see, Jerry, I'm a traditional Cartesian rationalist. I
believe that the individual self, the "I" or ego is the foundation
of all metaphysics. She, on the other hand, believes that the
contemporary self is a socially constructed, multi-faceted
subjectivity reflecting the political and economic realities of late
capitalist consumerist discourse.
Crowd: Ooooohhhh!
The Jerry
Springer Show
I might actually watch Jerry Springer if his shows were
like this. If only …
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