For lunch there isn't much of a choice—it's either the Vending Machines O'
Death at The Company, or a 24 hour gas station with a very good deli
It's pretty much no contest.
So I walk into the gas station with the very good deli section and place my
order: “Ham and cheese, half size on white.”
The clerk behind the counter grabs the break and asks, “What type of meat
do you want?”
This isn't an isolated case either. Years ago I used to stop off at Subway
since it was on the way to work and the following exchange would routinely
Opening move. “Yes, I'd like a foot long ham and cheese on white.”
Counter move: “What type of bread?”
“White.” What, like I'm going to say, No, I'd like my white bread to
be wheat please.
“You want cheese with that?”
No, I want my ham and cheese without cheese, thank you. “Yes
please.” Sometimes “American.” Depends on the cheese selection and the
And the killer move: “What type of meat?” Check and mate!
Uh, hold the ham. Yes, I'll have a hamless ham and cheese without the
cheese. Yes, that would be great. Sigh.
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