The Boston Diaries

Friday, Debtember 01, 2017

Tiny bubbles waiting to be popped by a SWAT team

Early this year, someone I haven't talked to in eight years called me out of the blue with a “business deal.” Curiosity got the better of me, and I spend most of a day talking to X about his proposal. It was odd—he was planning on taking out a loan against his house, but because he was self-employed, and his (then pregnant) wife was bumped down to part time, he was unable to get a loan of the amount he wanted. But if he got a co-signer, then he could get more than he was asking for.

And that's where I came in. He wanted me to co-sign the loan, and any excess money over what he wanted (negotiable) would come to me. Even if he defaulted, I wouldn't be on the hook because the house was worth more than the loan in any case. There was simply no “down side” to this (his words). No risk at all.

We would then use the proceeds of the loan to “invest” in Bitcoin. I told X back then that I felt it was a bubble, that I didn't know much about it, and what I did know didn't make me feel confident about it, especially the insecurity of the various Bitcoin exchanges [and to further pour salt onto the wounds, at the time, Bitcoins were worth $2,000.00 and as of today, they're worth $11,679.00. —Editor] [Yes, but the markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent, and I didn't see you buying any at the time. —Sean] [Touché —Editor].

It also turns out I wasn't the first person he asked about this. X just couldn't understand why anyone would pass up such an opportunity.

I ended up passing on the opportunity. Even though I tend to view “good credit” as a means of going into debt faster, I didn't want to put my financial health (such as it is) on the line for a rather dubious sounding proposal.

I'm only bringing this up today because I heard, through a third party, what happened to X over the past few months. I haven't been able to verify this but I do trust the source.

It seems that over the past few months he grew more paranoid and irratic. He (and here the story gets a bit garbled) built? some sort of bubble machine and was trying to sell it to Disney. He spent over a month at a hotel in the Orlando area (I don't recall if it was on the Disney property or not) and eventually barricaded himself in the room with several video cameras providing coverage of the immedate area. It took a SWAT team to pull him out and in the end, he was committed to a facility under the Baker Act. His wife took their kid and disappeared, no one knowing where she went. Not even X's family knows where she is.

And that's that. A rather bizarre end to a bizarre “business deal.”

Sunday, Debtember 03, 2017

Yorick loves it when a plan comes together

[He won't tell me what he did, for dead men tell no tales.]

Yorick smoking a celebratory cigar after finally getting around to it.

Or several.

Monday, Debtember 04, 2017

“Sorry I was late to the meeting, but the firemen wouldn't let me in the building for some reason … ”

Nothing quite like showing up to work at The Ft. Lauderdale Office Of The Corporation during a fire alarm.

The cause?

The fire alarm today was indeed a real fire alarm not a test. The alarm was due to a faulty smoke detector.

It's going to be a long day …

WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It's still a long day.

Now there's construction going on in the office one floor up. Either that, or some firemen are still trying to rescue people from a nonexistent fire.

Yet another case where a spammer didn't bother to actually read the page

From

Jen Miller <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>

To

sean@conman.org

Subject

Research on Mattresses

Date

Mon, 4 Dec 2017 09:13:34 -0800

Dear Editor,

My name is Jen and I’m a writer at Jen Reviews. I was doing research on mattresses and just finished reading your wonderful blog post: http://www.conman.org/asg-x/links.html

In that article, I noticed that you cited a solid post that I’ve read in the past: https://www.slumberland.com/

I just finished writing a guide that is even more detailed, updated and comprehensive on how to choose a mattress - 9 factors to consider according to science. It is over 7,000 words and packed with practical tips and advice. You can find it here: https://www.jenreviews.com/mattress/

If you like the guide we’d be humbled if you cited us in your article. Of course, we will also share your article with our 50k newsletter subscribers and followers across our social platforms.

Either way, keep up the great work!

Warmly,
Jen

I swear, my pagerank must be increasing or something, because I'm getting a lot more of these types of email lately. And it's clear the sender never bothered to look at the page as the page in question isn't even a blog post. It's from way in the past—October of 1998, to be exact (and I know that because this page caused Welcome Wagon International, Inc. to send a “cease and desist” letter to my previous host for violating their copyright, thus forcing me to register my own (and still current) domain).

The http://www.slumberland.com/ link on the page was actually linking to Wendy Dunlap's homepage and not to a matress company. To tell the truth, I would be surprised if any of the links on that page work—even the link to me (where my last name is mispelled “Connor”) points to a non-existant domain (which wasn't even correct when I mirrored that page in October of 1998). The only reason that page is still here is because “cool links don't change” and I was doing the smooth transition from the old host to new one. In fact, until today, I had forgotten that page even exists.

And as for what ASG-X actually was, will have to wait for another time.

“This site under construction”

And speaking of websites from the 90s, I recently came across wiby, a search engine that only returns pages that fit the 90s asthetic—no Javascript, <TABLE>-based layouts and endless “Under Construction” animated GIFs littering the page.

Wonderful stuff.

I don't even bother with searching, instead I prefer to hit the “surprise me …” link. As Douglas Adams once said, “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

Tuesday, Debtember 05, 2017

No, I didn't miss your email, I'm ignoring it on purpose

From

John Hawthorne <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>

To

root@conman.org

Subject

follow up

Date

Tue, 5 Dec 2017 05:02:45 +0000

Hey there

Just a quick follow up in case you’ve missed my email. If you’re short on time right now — no worries. I won’t bug you about it again. I forgot to mention in my previous email that you may republish my work if you prefer.

Thank you,

John.

The email continues with a quoting of his previous email.

This is something else I've noticed with this type of spam—follow-up messages when I didn't respond. I guess it works (or they wouldn't bother with it), although now I'm thinking I should update the post in question with a link to this entry just to see what happens.

Saturday, Debtember 09, 2017

A rare sight indeed

[It's sad to think that Clark Kent has to travel to West Palm Beach, Florida to change into Superman these days.]

Now that I think about it, it seems strange that Clark would even consider using a phone booth for changing into Superman. They aren't known for being all that spacious (unlike British police boxes) and they lack any sense of visual privacy.

And yet, here we are, Clark in mid-change.

Monday, Debtember 18, 2017

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

When we last left our heros, Luke looked confused, Han should have shot first, and Fin could use some Bactine.

And now on with the show …

So of course Bunny and I went to see “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” (aka “May the Porgs Be With You”) and overall, my reaction is mixed. The movie is beautiful, but that's pretty much been the case with all the Star Wars movies (even with “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace”). It's just I found the movie very uneven.

I loved the plot involving Luke, Rey and Kylo. The characters do play off each other quite well in the movie. In fact, I find Kylo to be a fascinating villain. He's dangerous but at the same time clearly conflicted with the whole “be evil” business. And I can't recall the last time I saw a villain throw tantrums like he does.

The rest of the movie? I found it mostly filler and most of it could be removed from the movie with no ill effect, especially the casino bits. The cantina in “Star Wars” was clearly a bar while at the same time being alien (I mean, aside from all the aliens in the cantina). And even the opera in “Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith” was both alien while being familiar enough to recognize it for what it was. It might seem like a weird point to make, but if you are padding a Star Wars movie, at least try to make it visually interesting to distract us from the pointless filler, and less like The Bellagio with aliens wearing tuxedos.

Overall, for me, the Jedi bits were worth suffering through the non-Jedi parts. Your milage may vary. I really can't say more without major spoilers, which I may do at some point in the future.

But I will leave you with one small spoiler—this is the first Star Wars film to show actual paper!

Sunday, Debtember 24, 2017

This is the type of White Christmas I can get behind

“You know it's Christmas Eve, right?” asked Bunny.

“Um … yeah.”

“I'll let you open a gift tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yes. No, not that one.”

“Oh.”

“No, not that one either.”

“Well, which gift then?”

“Look in the freezer.”

“The freezer?”

“Yes. The freezer. The one in the garage.”

“Okay. … NO WAY‽”

“And check the oven for the authentic automotive industry steel pan.”

“NO WAY‽”

[It came in a box made out of New York style pizza.]

An authentic Buddy's pizza, delivered over 1,200 miles frozen, and a proper pan to finish cooking it in.

I can't thank Bunny enough.

Monday, Debtember 25, 2017

Welcome back, Bunny, part II

Because we loved it the last two times we ate there, and because it was a special occasion, we went back to Roots Italian Kitchen for Christmas dinner.

As soon as we sat down, the owner came over to our table. “You were here last Valentine's Day, weren't you?” he asked. “And you were here one other time, right?”

It's one thing to remember customers after nine weeks, but to remember them after nearly nine months? We're just amazed each time we come back to this place.

The food was so good this time, I forgot to take the Obligatory Picture of the Empty Plate.