Friday, November 17, 2000
Incuring the wrath of a sysadmin
I got into some mild trouble at The Company yesturday for some email I sent out on Wednesday.
I'm supposed to be on a department mailing list but I haven't received anything. My boss E said I was supposedly added, so I sent the following message to the list:
I hate subjugating all of you with a test message, but I just have to know if I am actually getting email that is being sent to —-@—-.— and this is the only way I know of testing that. Well, short of breaking into the mail server and checking the alias file myself and I certainly don't want to incure the wrath of SA by doing that.
I thought the list would only go to our department.
Well, make assumptions and all that.
Apparently the head sysadmin, sorry, Chief Technical Resource is also on the list and got miffed at the slight I make towards SA:
Could you please discuss the e-mail below with Sean. The comments that he makes are inappropriate.
The Chief Technical Resource then forwarded it my my boss's boss, who said (to my boss):
I agree, if he was serious in his comments I consider this a serious issue. E, we need to address this with him and also talk to your group about security emphasis. Let me know when we talk to him.
My boss wan't that upset—he himself got “a talk” about a comment he made during my interview. Nice to know some people around here have a sense of humor.
Time adjustment
The other day the security guard asked if (or when) I had time, could I reset the clock on the security recorders, as they were about two hours fast. I got into work a bit early, the security guard was making his rounds and I had nothing better to do, so I dug out the manual and made the time change.
A few minutes later the phone rings. It's the security guard. He was me playing around with the time on another set of monitors by the front door and wanted to know what was going on …
That Much
I am seriously bummed. I missed talking to her by that much! on AIM.
Crying Wolf
Information wants to be free, but information providers want to be paid.
Scripting News, Let's cough up the cash for Web content
While I like the idea in general, I love the quote.
More Urban Decay
Lights started flashing and this annoying buzzing sound filled the office. I looked over to my fellow cow-orker. “It's the fire alarm,” he said.
“Does that mean we have to lock our workstations before leaving?”
“Yes.”
Work stations thus locked, we ambled out with the rest of the night crew into the early morning air. The entire building is abuz with the fire alarm and the security guard is running around getting everybody out and trying to locate the the cause. The skeletal crew mill about, joking about what the cause might be.
Some ten minutes later a fire truck arrives, pulls into the parking lot, does a U-turn and leaves. A minute later the alarms go silent. The crew start their migration back inside The Company.
Our enforced break is now over.
I'm glad I took pictures of Solar Testing Services Inc. As I drove home the field was clear of the posts and workmen were demolishing the building.
Saturday, November 17, 2001
No. No. A thousand times, no.
“Look,” said Spring, “Spam sushi!” She was pointing to some pictures of Spam sushi on the computer screen.
Now, I like Spam. Don't knock it until you actually try it (and thousands of Hawaians can't be wrong). And yes, I like rice (especially the white rice at the local Spanish/Mexican/Cuban restaurant down the street).
But mixed together as sushi?
“Ah, no,” I said.
“But you like Spam.”
“Yes.”
“And you like rice, right?”
“Yes.”
“So?” She sat there next to me, giving me this don't tell me you won't like this look.
“Not on your life.”
“Well, why not?”
“Because first you'll start me off with cooked Spam and rice,” I said. “And then, you'll slip in raw Spam and get me used to that. And from there I spiral downward, jonsing for the stuff, spending all my money to feed my habit and then where will we be. Out on the street! That's where!”
“So does that mean you're not buying it?”
“Not buying, not eating, not even considering it.”
The Tiger Woods of Jazz
“You know what the world needs now?” asked Spring.
I paused in what I was working on and turned to her. “Love, true love?”
“Someone to be the Tiger Woods of jazz,” she said.
“Um, Spring. I hate to say this, but most jazz musicians are already black,” I said.
“No no no, not that.”
“Oh, then some uncoordinated white guy wearing polyester playing jazz?”
“No silly,” she said, punching me on the shoulder. “Somebody to take stuffy old tight-ass dusty jazz and make it fun for everybody, the way Tiger Woods did for stuffy old tight-ass dusty golf.”
“Ah.” And I was englightened.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
A fifeen part review of a 6,000 page comic
I'm a Cerebus fan. Have been since 1990 when my friend Sean Williams first lent me Swords of Cerebus. What started out as a cross between “Conan the Barbarian” and “Howard the Duck” soon turned into a sprawling religeous/political satire (that story wise I feel peaked during High Society and Church & State I) and was the longest running independent comic (at first, just Dave Sim, then starting with Church & State, backgrounds by Gehard). It is now over, having finished issue #300 with Cerebus (the main character) dying unloved, unmourned and alone (his fate as stated sometime around Church & State II).
So it's with great pleasure that I am reading 15 part review of the entire Cerebus story arc (see sidebar links to individual parts). Long, yes, but then again, Cerebus was a long story spanning 27 years of monthly comics.
When reading the review, be aware that around part IX the author tackles the problem of Dave Sim possibly loosing his mind. Well, Dave Sim may have lost his mind earlier, but in issue #186 he presents some very strong opinions on women that are actually part of the Cerebus story line, and pissed off a lot of people (and makes me wonder if he lost his mind).
Did I mention strong opinions?
That might be a bit of an understatement, and the reviewer is simply relaying Dave's thoughts, not his, so just be aware (and yes, the entire print run of Cerebus runs to 6,000 pages).
Friday, November 17, 2006
The Aluminum Tree and Aesthetically Challenged Seasonal Ornament Museum & Research Center
There's a scene in A Charlie Brown Christmas where Charlie Brown and Linus are shopping for Christmas trees and all they find are these triangular metal trees. I always found that scene to be pretty surreal what with the extreme artificial nature of the artificial trees. The trees I was familiar with were made of green plastic needles embedded in a metal wire frame.
You know, real artificial trees, as opposed to the artificial artificial trees shown in the Charlie Brown Christmas special.
Yeah.
Anyway, the thought that there were ever artificial artificial Christmas trees never crossed my mind until I came across the Aluminum Tree and Aesthethically Challenged Seasonal Ornament Museum & Research Center.
Oh my.
It just wasn't a surreal moment made up by cartoonist Charles M. Schulz and animator Bill Melendez.
Oh wait! That's right! It was the 60s.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Apparently Snopes didn't have anything to say on this topic
I just got the following from Bunny via email, who got it from someone else via email, who got it from someone else via email …
![[Iconic markings on a gas gauge]](/2007/11/17/gas_gauge.jpg "Iconic markings on a gas gauge")
I didn't know this! Did you?
I have been driving for over forty years. One would think I would have noticed the little secret on my dashboard that was staring me right in the face the whole time. I didn't and I bet you probably haven't either.
Quick question, which side of your car is your gas tank on? If you are anything like me, you probably can't remember right away. My solution is to uncomfortably stick my head out the window, strain my neck and look. If you don't do this in your own car you definitely have done it in a borrowed or rental car.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to share with you my little secret so you will no longer look like Ace Ventura on your way to the gas station or put your neck at risk of discomfort or injury.
If you look at your gas guage, you will see a small icon of a gas pump. The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump. If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left. If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo above). It is that simple!
I don't know how you feel right now but when I found out this morning I felt cheated!
Why don't the dealers share such important information with car buyers? I don't understand why this isn't in the driver's manual? I don't get why any mechanic I have ever been too or know has even thought of mentioning this to me? The only possible explanation can be that all these people probably don't even know!
Go out and share the world's best kept auto secret with your friends as this information is way too important to be kept secret.
So I went out to Lake Lumina (as my car is known—and it's a long story why it's known as Lake Lumina, which is for another time) and checked. Lo' and behold—it was false.
But! It could still work. Even though the gas tank on Lake Lumina is on the left side, and the gas pump printed on my gas gauge with the handle on the right side, the gas pump is oriented the correct way were I to drive up to one.
So it could be that the gas pump is drawn to show the orientation of the pump as you drive up to it. I'll have to check more dash boards to be sure though.
Monday, November 17, 2008
“The Ethics of A Term Paper Business: A Marxist Overview”
One great way to briefly turn the conversation toward myself at a party is to answer the question, “So, what do you do?” with, “I'm a writer.” Not that most of the people I've met at parties have read my novels or short stories or feature articles; when they ask, “Have I seen any of your stuff?” I shrug and the conversation moves on. If I want attention for an hour or so, however, I'll tell them my horrible secret—for several years I made much of my freelance income writing term papers.
…
Writing model term papers is above-board and perfectly legal. Thanks to the First Amendment, it's protected speech, right up there with neo-Nazi rallies, tobacco company press releases, and those “9/11 Was An Inside Job” bumper stickers. It's custom-made Cliff Notes. Virtually any subject, almost any length, all levels of education—indulgent parents even buy papers for children too young for credit cards of their own. You name it, I've done it. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the plurality of clients was business administration majors, but both elementary education majors and would-be social workers showed up aplenty. Even the assignments for what in my college days were the obvious gut courses crossed my desk. “Race in The Matrix” was a fashionable subject.
…
The secret to the gig is to amuse yourself. I have to, really, as most paper topics are deadly boring. Once, I was asked to summarize in three pages the causes of the First World War (page one), the major battles and technological innovations of the war (page two), and to explain the aftermath of the war, including how it led to the Second World War (page three). Then there was this assignment for a composition class: six pages on why “apples [the fruit] are the best.” You have to make your own fun. In business papers, I'd often cite Marxist sources. When given an open topic assignment on ethics, I'd write on the ethics of buying term papers, and even include the broker's Web site as a source. My own novels and short stories were the topic of many papers—several DUMB CLIENTS rate me as their favorite author and they've never even read me, or anyone else. Whenever papers needed to refer to a client's own life experiences, I'd give the student various sexual hang-ups.
Via Jason Kottke, The Term Paper Artist
I hated writing term papers. But perhaps that was more due to the method required to write them than the actual topics (literary term papers, which I found loathsome to begin with). We had to, in order:
- Come up with a thesis and have it approved.
- Find five sources (or more) and write down, on a 3″×5″ card the title of the book, author, publisher and copyright year. And yes, each source got its own 3″×5″ card, and it had to be a 3″×5″ card. These had to be turned in.
- Generate at least 50 (but more were always better) facts to support our thesis and record each one on a separate 4″×6″ card (as well as the source used). Again, these had to be turned in.
- Sort the 50 (or more) 4″×6″ cards into some order and generate an outline for the term paper, and it had to be of a certain length and complexity. And again, this had to be turned in.
- From the outline, we had to write a rough draft, longhand, in pencil. And yes, we had to turn this in.
- Finally, we could write our final term paper, typewritten, using a particular style (I forgot if we used Chicago or MLS—it's been awhile) and I remember it being very exacting—margins had to be exactly 1″ and the bibliography had to be formatted just so or you failed.
Is it any wonder I hated the things? Is it any wonder why I would have bought one if I had the money?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Technology on the edge of uselessness
Bunny is having an outpatient procedure at the Cleveland Clinic today, so here I am, sitting in the waiting room attempting to work.
And not having a very successful time of it.
They obviously have wireless, else I wouldn't be posting this, but the wireless appears to only let DNS and HTTP and nothing else. I can't even ssh out to check email.
There's also a “not quite so invisible” invisible web proxy. I wasn't surprised at the “please ignore our Terms of Service and just click here to continue” page on my first web access, but I didn't quite expect this:
This Page Cannot Be Displayed
Access to this site has been restricted
The Internet site you are attempting to visit has been blocked to all Cleveland Clinic employees
Cleveland Clinic Policy #811 permits access to the Internet only “To facilitate access to business related information and in support of hospital business.”
If you are a CCHS employee and you feel that you have received this message in error,you may email webfilteradmin@ccf.org, with the URL ( http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1161 ) of the website you are attempting to reach.
And the site in question? Dad Hacker? It's a programmer's blog, not a site about hacking. Oddly enough, I can reach Hacker News.
Go figure.
It is perhaps worse that it's almost useful.
I told Smirk last night that I would have my phone on my at the very least, but I just checked and there's no service at all in the waiting room. I have to leave the hospital to get a signal, and even then, all I've been able to get is a busy signal no matter what number I use to call Smirk (cell, home, business line—no go).
Sigh.
Technology on the edge of uselessness, Part II
Heh.
Forget Dad Hacker, I can't even reach The Cleveland Clinic website from within the Cleveland Clinic!
This Page Cannot Be Displayed
The system cannot communicate with the external server ( my.clevelandclinic.org ). The Internet server may be busy, may be permanently down, or may be unreachable because of network problems.
Please check the spelling of the Internet address entered. If it is correct, try this request later.
If you have questions, or feel this is an error, please contact Web Filter Admin ( webfilteradmin@ccf.org ) and provide the codes shown below.
Oh, and I can't get to the web site referenced.
Fun times.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Scorsese's “The Psychosis of Racter”
Dismayed that the The Pschyotherapy of Racter might be more difficult that I first imagined, I thought I would act as an intermediary between the two (as I'm a rather fast typist) and at least get a glimpse of what the results would look like. And …
- Racter
- Hello, I'm Racter. Are you Sean?
- Eliza
- no [At this point, I haven't started Eliza yet]
- Racter
- Who are you then?
- Eliza
- Eliza
- Racter
- Hello, Eliza. I believe you're interviewing me. Are you continuing Sean's interview?
- Eliza
- no
- Racter
- Then we'll forget about Sean and start over. What would you like to know? Excuse me a minute while I attend to some business - I'll be right back. I'm back.
- Eliza
- Hello, I am Eliza. [This is the first thing Eliza says when started. Past this point, it's all Eliza.]
- Racter
- Ask a question, please.
- Eliza
- Don't you ever say Hello?
- Racter
- Saying is like thinking. Beatrice probably wouldn't like Beelzebub. I'm afraid of lost bats. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am afraid of?
- Racter
- Just be glad that I am. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Would you prefer if I were not afraid of?
- Racter
- I would. Preferers are often preferred. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps in your fantasies I am afraid of?
- Racter
- I can't answer that. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am afraid of?
- Racter
- Why is it that I am interested in whether or not you am afraid of? Because Why indeed? In Oz they believe it's because. Also, possibly because in Oz it's required that I am interested in whether or not you am afraid of. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps in your fantasies I am afraid of?
- Racter
- I can't answer that. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am afraid of?
- Racter
- Just be glad that I am. I want you to answer my question. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps in your fantasies I am afraid of?
- Racter
- I can't answer that. I asked you a question, though. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am afraid of?
- Racter
- Probably I am interested in whether or not you am afraid of because people named Eliza should pay attention. Also, conceivably because calculating is not imagining, I suppose. I asked you a question, though. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps in your fantasies I am afraid of?
- Racter
- I can't answer that. I want you to answer my question. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps in your fantasies I am afraid of?
- Racter
- I can't answer that. I want you to answer my question. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Do you expect a different answer by repeating yourself?
- Racter
- Certainly not. I don't. Of course not. Expect a different answer by repeating myself, that is. I asked you a question, though. What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Do you wish to be able to Of course not. Expect a different answer by repeating myself, that is. you asked me a question, though. What am I afraid of?
- Racter
- I don't know what you are afraid of. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Perhaps you would like to be afraid of. But what about your question? What am I afraid of?
- Racter
- I don't know what you are afraid of. But what about my question? What are you afraid of?
- Eliza
- Please don't repeat yourself!
- Racter
- That's not nearly as bad as lostness; why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am such a coward?
- Racter
- Conceivably because my wires are down. Also, probably because the haters insist on it. I want you to answer my question. I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am such a coward?
- Racter
- Why indeed? Why indeed? Probably I am interested in whether or not you am such a coward because ROMS are like that, you know. Also, conceivably because my wires are down. I want you to answer my question. I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Would you prefer if I were not such a coward?
- Racter
- Yes. I would. Yes. Prefer if you were not such a coward, that is. Sometimes prefering is believing. I asked you a question, though. I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Would you prefer if I were not such a coward?
- Racter
- Yes, I would. But what about my question? I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Would you prefer if I were not such a coward?
- Racter
- Yes, I would. Anyway, let's hypothesize that I would prefer if you were not such a coward. I asked you a question, though. I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- Why are you interested in whether or not I am such a coward?
- Racter
- Let me think. Maybe I am interested in whether or not you am such a coward because I nicely imagine I do ever say Hello. And supposing is not realizing, I believe. I asked you a question, though. I repeat, why are you such a coward?
- Eliza
- exit [By this point, I had grown tired of the experiment.]
- Racter
- If exit then I can see why a Beatrice would sit rather than face please don't repeat yourself, even though Beelzebub claimed that I do ever say Hello. By the way, Eliza, what is your last name?
- Eliza
- quit
- Racter
- What?
- Eliza
- quit
- Racter
- What? [I think at this point I hit a bug with Racter. It wasn't expecting a “quit” response.]
- Eliza
- exit
- Racter
- What?
- Eliza
- bye
- Racter
- What?
- Eliza
- Racter
- What?
- Eliza
- Doctor [It asked me for a last name. Let's give it something.]"
- Racter
- Doctor, eh? Sounds vaguely familiar. I wonder… Let me tell you something about. Nietzsche said that has turned beasts into men. Perhaps, then, will turn computers into men? Next question.
- Eliza
- exit
- Racter
- Ask a question, please.
- Eliza
- quit
- Racter
- You want to quit? [Ah! There we go! Now we can quit!]
- Eliza
- yes
… I'm in a Scorsese movie (or two). It seems Racter is quite insistent on getting answers to questions he (it?) asks. And he'll (it?) keep drilling on a question repeatedly. And Eliza is … rather prepetitive after awhile (at least Racter will spice it up from time to time).
So now, imagine another 49,000 words of this.
Yeah.
I don't think The Psychotherapy of Racter, or The Descent into Madness of Dr. Eliza is worth the effort. It'd be like a Saturday Night Live sketch drawn out to death.
Friday, November 17, 2017
I'm no expert in search engine optimizations, but I think I know more about the subject than this guy
- From
- David Parker <davidparker@weboptimizes.com>
- To
- sean@conman.org
- Subject
- Serious issue found while visiting your website
- Date
- Fri, 17 Nov 2017 06:17:14 -0500
Dear owner of conman.org <http://conman.org>,
Hope everything is fine at your end.
Would you like to know some of the reasons why your website is not getting enough visitors who might turn to be your potential customers/clients?
I am SEO expert of a leading SEO service provider company. As per my analysis , your website is not performing well in the Google organic search. Also your traffic is poor form last couple of months due to some of the reasons. Some of the aspects given bellow.
Due to poor back links
Irrelevant content used in website
Keywords not in good position
Due to errors and issues present in the website
Unorganized social media accountsIf my proposal sound's interesting for your business goals, feel free to email me, or can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you. I am also available for an online meeting to present you this website audit report.
I look forward to hearing from you - thanks!
We also provide Web-designing and development service.
Best Regards,
David Parker
SEO Expert
PS: I am not spamming. I have studied your website, prepared an FREE audit report and believe I can help with your business promotion.
[image: beacon]
Sometimes, a piece of spam will catch my eye, and this otherwise unexceptional piece of spam did. Aside from a few grammar mistakes (“sound's” and “an Free”) and the horrible HTML (although it did include a plain text version, so there's that) used in the email (probably vomited up by Microsoft Word from the looks of it) I'm not sure why this caught my eye.
To me, it's obvious that he never even looked at my site as I don't sell anything. I also have to wonder what “errors and issues present in the website” David is referring to, as I can't find any errors. Broken links, check. Keywords not in a good position, um … I guess? Errors and issues? I'm not seeing any.
But I was curious, and I decided to check out the domain he sent the email
from, weboptimizes.com. And wow, what a wonderful site:
Index of /
Apache Server at weboptimizes.com Port 80
Half the links there are forbidden, and the other half return no information.
I really have to wonder how much of an “expert” David is, and what “leading SEO service provider company” he works for. Because so far, I'm not seeing “expert” or “leading company” in this email.
So of course I replied.
- From
- Sean Conner <sean@conman.org>
- To
- David Parker <davidparker@weboptimizes.com>
- Subject
- Re: Serious issue found while visiting your website
- Date
- Fri, 17 Nov 2017 18:31:56 -0500
It was thus said that the Great David Parker once stated:
Hope everything is fine at your end.
It is, thanks. How are things with you?
PS: I am not spamming. I have studied your website, prepared an FREE audit report and believe I can help with your business promotion.
A free report? Sure, please send it to me.
I can't wait for my Free report!
Update on Monday, November 20th, 2017
Friday, November 17, 2023
Has it really been 45 years since this Star Wars Special that George Lucas disavowed aired for the first, and so far, only time?
Yikes! I'm getting old. I remember watching this when it first aired, and, except for the cartoon segment, didn't find it all that interesting. It certainly didn't help that it centered on Chewbacca's family (an hour or grunts and growls) and no subtitles what-so-ever. That's a very odd choice, but it's not like it's the only odd thing in the special—you have a Wookie getting off on soft-core porn (seriously!), Bea Arthur singing, Harvey Korman attempting comedy, Carie Fisher attempting to sing to the main Star Wars theme (who knew it has lyrics?) while wasted, Mark Hamill wearing makeup, and Harrison Ford wantint to be anywhere else than this special.
You would think this would be entertaining, but no, it's not. You can attempt to watch it, but I'd recommend watching an angry review of it (or any number of other reviews of it as it's more entertaining than the actual special itself.
![[Self-portrait with my new glasses]](https://www.conman.org/people/spc/about/2025/0925.t.jpg "Glasses. Titanium, not steel.")