The Boston Diaries

The ongoing saga of a programmer who doesn't live in Boston, nor does he even like Boston, but yet named his weblog/journal “The Boston Diaries.”

Go figure.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Is HR expecting us to rappel down the side of the building in case of an emergency?

I arrived at the Ft. Lauderdale Office Of The Corporation and on my desk, I find a paracord survival bracelet. Odd … but I do seem to recall something about this in email a few days ago and sure enough:

From
The Ft. Lauderdale Office Manager <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
To
The Ft. Lauderdale Office of The Corporation <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX>
Subject
Safety Committee Update - New Paracord Survival Bracelets
Date
Friday, October 23, 2015 11:11 AM

New Addition To Our Safety Kits
Paracord Survival Bracelets

[The new fashion accessory for your pet rock!]

Emergency Preparedness Taken to the Next Level

The Safety Committee's gift to YOU for staying up-to-date with procedures and attending drills!

Ways Paracord Bracelets Can Work

  1. Makeshift Shelters
  2. Fishing Line
  3. Tourniquet

Visit website for more ways you can use Paracords

Paracord Info

Really? What safety kits? Did I mess that memo?

Anyway, I have this paracord survival bracelet on my desk.

[I got the Apple Mac Accessory Color Paracord Survival Bracelet]

It barely fits around my wrist, and that connector, while very sleek, is hard to actually use. The pin screws in, and getting everything lined up while attempting to wrap this thing around your wrist is not easy. And the little hairs on my arm kept getting bound around the pin as I was screwing it in. Ouch. So no, I'm not wearing the darned thing.

I could see getting this five months ago, you know, at the start of hurricane season. But whatever. I have this paracord survival bracelet on my desk. And while it's great that I can use it to start fires or trip the machete wielding serial killer, I don't do the camping thing. My idea of roughing it is a hotel with no wi-fi (free or otherwise). I suppose I could use it to rig something up on Hallowe'en so when the kids come up to the door and yell “Trick or treat!” I can yell back “Trick!” and trip them or something but really, that's too much trouble.

And now that I've unravelled the 10′ of paracord, I'm not sure if I can form the bracelet (link via fellow cow-orker B) as tight as it was. I suppose I could learn to tie a few knots.

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